A Year in Review, 2008 Edition

2008 didn't start off as I had hoped, the car accident added unnecessary stress. Trying to work in the required physical therapy three times a week for an hour and working full time. His insurance agent was also ignoring my calls it had been a month and everything was coming out of my pocket.

I started to get desperate and called an attorney, this would be my first experience with one but not my last for this year. I've never been sue happy nor did I want to do this but it was getting to the point that I needed to show them I was serious and that this needed to be paid for. The attorney gave me some great advice and some key words to use and if that still didn't get the agent to call me back he would step in.

Amazingly it work, he immediately called me back and started paying the medical bills and the car rental which was out of this world. My car couldn't be fixed until this agent started talking to everyone. So I was driving around in a 2008 Chevy Cobalt, which was a nice car if it had power windows and locks. I hated it though, it wasn't my car that I missed so much.

I finally got my car back on the 4th of January, I was so excited to drive it home and have my car again. The only thing left to deal with was my physical therapy that I absolutely hated going to. Although I did end up making a friend in the process, the physical therapist Steve. Which I wont talk about much because I don't have the place to talk about him.

March came around and I graduated from physical therapy. I was so done with it by this point I could do all the exercises in my sleep, if I wanted too that is. This is when shit hit the fan basically, I really have no idea how and when exactly this happened. I remember one morning I was working at a different branch, as I was driving Nic kept texting me. I wasn't responding, and he kept texting, eventually he called me and asked why I wasn't responding. Well I was driving and in a big hurry to get there on time. He didn't appreciate that response and asked if I had somewhere to go. Meaning he wanted me to move out of our home.

I ended up at work really irritated, I sent a text to my mom asking if I would be able to move back in again. While sitting there thinking how incredibly stupid he was being. Kicking me out because I didn't respond to a text message while driving. I was still traumatized from my car accident at this point in time and was paying attention to the roads.

Anyway he called me at my lunch break and apologized saying that was real stupid. He didn't want me to leave, but it was only the beginning of pointless arguments. We only made it to the end of the month before he started telling me I needed to move out again. He started spending the weekends at his friends house completely deserting Alex and I. He would come home Friday shower and we wouldn't see him again until Sunday at Midnight. Finally being tired of not feeling welcome in my home I decided to leave the weekend of his birthday. Alex was sick with strep throat and I was coming down with it myself, but I finally took his word on it and left.

Coming down with a fever I packed up all my clothes the only things he had no say over. We decided it would be easier to let Alex stay with his room to make this an easy transition. As soon as I got my apartment we would just move him in there. This was my first mistake to a very scary time in my life. Luckily I was sick and didn't have to face my co-workers for for 24 hours, until the medication kicked in and I was no longer contagious.

The embarrassment I felt over a failed marriage was consuming everything in my life and it still does. I didn't want anyone to know, but as I changed my mailing address and requested my name to be changed they started asking questions. I would tell everyone that it just didn't work and we are going separate ways. I wasn't sure what happened it just did. I started blocking out what did happen, what the fights were about. I honestly don't remember now, I pushed them so far back in my mind that I can't locate them now.

May came around really fast, it was hard only seeing Alex on the weekends. I kept telling myself this was only a temporary thing. By May 15th my apartments called and told me that my apartment would be ready by June 1st. I was so excited, I was finally doing something I could never push myself to do. As much as I was embarrassed by my failed marriage I was also so happy to finally get out of something that was making me miserable.

Alex's birthday came at the end of the month and we were going to go bowling. My grandfather died just a couple days before Alex's birthday, and my mom wasn't up for celebrating. So me and my little brother took him bowling, he didn't care it was just us. I went to my grandfathers funeral and when I got home a Constable was waiting to serve papers to me.

I couldn't believe the timing on that one, already upset from the funeral I found out I was going to court for custody in just 20 days. I had 20 days to find money for an attorney, to find an attorney, move into my new place and find time for work. Luckily I was able to get an attorney within the next week and we put together my side of the case. I gave my attorney my half of the tax stimulus, what I had in savings and maxed my credit card to hold him over until I could take out a loan for the remainder.

I waited until the last minute to move into my apartment so I would only have to pay half of the months rent. June 13th, Friday the 13th nonetheless, was the day I moved in. I packed up my clothes again and moved them over. I did have a TV and DVD player that kept me occupied but that was the extent of belongings. My parents did give me a bed for Alex to use the day before my court hearing. We put it up and made it so he would at least have some where to sleep. I did make Nic give me an air mattress out of our camping equipment so I would stop sleeping on the floor.

I was so nervous for the court date to come. Nic was refusing letting me see Alex and playing the abandonment card. Which frustrated me more because we agreed to make it as easy on Alex and this wasn't easy. I showed up to court about an hour and half early, I wanted to make sure I was on time and I knew where my courtroom was. I paced the hallway shaking and on the verge of tears. Terrified at what the verdict was going to be, I started to question myself as a parent. Was I truly good enough to take care of Alex? Did I make enough money to keep us afloat? What will happen if I lose custody of my son?

Our time had come I was briefing with my attorney and he was telling me just just be quiet. Don't say anything, this is what you pay me for. I was suppose to sit there while Nic's attorney said the most horrible things about me and not do a thing. It was so hard, I wanted to break down and cry and cry. I have always thought of Nic as my best friend and to let his attorney say complete lies hurt me more then he will ever know.

The verdict came down that I won full custody of our son, I couldn't believe it. I had a sigh of relief but still wanted to collapse and cry and cry. I was suppose to go back to work that afternoon but I couldn't I wanted my baby back. I immediately picked him up and we came home. I was so excited to show him his new home. Later that day Nic let me go back to the house and get Alex's clothes and toys.

After that battle Nic was much easier to work with, I hope he knows how easy I am to work with. I know so many people are still battling about custody and mothers aren't letting fathers see their kids. Our papers were finally starting to come along and were the way we both thought was fair. I gave up my full custody to have share joint custody with Nic. Alex deserves to see both his parents all the time.

Anyway summer was over and fall started to come Alex wanted to be Super Mario for Halloween and he wanted me to be Princess Peach. I think we turned out really cute, and he loved his costume. He also wanted Lily to be dress up like Yoshi, I could never find a cute Dino costume for her. It also didn't matter much I gave her a new home just a few days before Halloween.

On December 3rd, 2008 my marriage to Nic was ended. We were no longer married, I wasn't as happy as I thought I would be. I have always had conflicting emotions with this divorce. I always thought I would be happy when it was all said and done, but it's a weird feeling of a weight lifted from your shoulders and still loneliness. Maybe it was spending a Christmas alone and only waking up with one person. I've always had a bunch of people around Christmas time, this is my first time living completely on my own. So it was just a little odd, I do hope Nic and I can become friends again and put our past behind us. I mean we will always have to be in each others lives so the sooner the better.

Now that the long year of 2008 has been relived for you all to read. I will have to start to think of where I want my life to go now. I am looking forward to the New Year and the new life that lies ahead. I just have to remember that despite our plans, the Universe has its own agenda from which we cannot escape participation.